HOME!

After a VERY long flight and lots of drama I will cover in another post, we finally made it HOME.

Maia is doing GREAT!  Other than a few issues with eating, you would have never guessed she just came home two days ago.  She's so laid back and really goes with the flow.  (Part of this is institutional, so we are working with her on getting involved and communicating with us in little spurts.)  She has figured out how to tell us when she wants more food and she will crawl up to us and put up her hands when she needs some extra attention.  

She has taken especially well to Nathan, and he to her.  Something tells me they will be best buds.  Alex is a little momma and tries to do everything for Maia.  She will bring her the bottle, share toys with her, and talk to her in a sweet little momma voice.  Maia, however, wants nothing to do with her yet, lol.  

In an effort to not throw the balance of the family off too much, we have been spending a lot of individualized time with our bios.  They are LOVING all of the extra attention.  This is easy to do now because Maia needs lots of time to herself to watch things from a distance.  When she starts getting involved more I'm sure we will have to find a balance.  Right now I spend about 5 minutes one-on-one with her every hour and that's as much as she can handle.  The rest of the time she's playing with the kids or watching them from across the room.  This gives me time to get some housework done and pull Nathan and Alex aside for extra loving.  

It almost feels like she's been here all along.  She really does fit right in.  

Nathan takes his job of "big" brother very seriously with Maia.  We were a little concerned that he would have trouble adjusting to her, but that hasn't been the case at all.  He is caring, gentle, and very understanding with her.  He has lots of questions about the noises and motions she makes, but they are just curiosity.  And I answer them at least 10 times a day.  lol.

We explained to Nathan on the first day home that Maia doesn't know how to be gentle yet.  Without knowing it, she will kick, hit, and scratch us if we aren't keeping a careful eye on her.  This is all institutional and has already greatly decreased.  We told Nathan that we have to teach Maia how to have "gentle hands" and "gentle feet" because she didn't learn how in the orphanage.  He will intentionally get close to Maia and when she reaches for him he will show her how to be gentle.  I'm so blow away by how understanding he is with her.

Alex wants to be involved so badly and (as always) will do everything Nathan does.  Even with her interactions with Maia.  She loves to make Maia laugh and get RIGHT in her face and talk to her, lol.

I know we are still in the honeymoon phase with this whole thing, but we are so blessed with how well all three kids are handling this transition.  God is definitely watching over us.  We are, however, getting a little stir crazy already.  Even Maia does better after a quick walk around the block to get out of the house.

Happy Fourth!

Four years ago yesterday I became a Mommy for the very first time.

Thanks to the amazing midwives at Charleston Birth Place we had the privilege of becoming parents to this healthy, perfect, chunk of a boy.  Never thought I could love someone that instantly.  

He has blessed our lives like we could never have imagined.  

His determined spirit is going to take him far in this life.  

We are so blessed to have been given the privilege to raise him up to be a great man of God.

We pray for you daily, big guy.  That God will bless your life immeasurably and that He will equip you to do more than we could ever ask or imagine for you.  Chase after God and He will give you everything you need.  And never forget that Mommy and Daddy love you always and forever.  Thank you for being the awesome boy you are.  We are so proud of you and can't wait to see what lies ahead for you!

Advent

It's no surprise to the people who know me that Christmas is my favorite time of year. I love the lights, the tree, wreaths, nativities, cookies, candies, parties, and...well...I pretty much love all of it. I love the Christmas season so much that we set up the tree before Thanksgiving this year.  :)  I sit by it every night and crochet the evening away.

Our 2012 Christmas Tree

I am especially loving this year as I watch Nathan's excitement over the season. I watch him as he remembers traditions from last year and makes the connection that we are continuing this memories. I love watching Alex's face as she experiences Christmas as a toddler who is walking around and understanding things. I love watching them anticipate the season together.  Watching them laugh and sing and dance around.  Watching them listen to the Christmas story and make connections about Jesus.  Watching them take in the Christmas lights on our walk.  I love it all.

Sorting ornaments for "their" tree.

But along with the excitement and joy I feel watching them experience Christmas comes a great feeling of responsibility. Craig and I are directly responsible for how our kids view Christmas. We are directly responsible for whether they come out of childhood thinking Christmas is all about them or if they come out of childhood knowing Christmas is all about HIM.

The nativity I received from my in-laws.  My constant reminder of WHO the season is really about it.  

How do you find the balance? The balance of receiving gifts and giving gifts. The balance of fun and excitement and reverence for what this day means to us. The balance of the material side of Christmas and the spiritual side of Christmas. The balance of going and doing and just sitting and abiding. It's a big job we have as parents. How to "do Christmas".  Sometimes it overwhelms me.

Daddy and Alex, decorating the kids' tree.

For our family in this season, we're making Christmas about giving. Giving to Jesus through giving to others. We're also doing everything we can to point our kids to Jesus this season. For us this means minimizing Santa.  We're also not doing the Elf on the Shelf. (Pretty sure I'd stress out trying to keep up with that guy!). We're not doing a tree full of gifts or an advent activity full of chocolate and presents. While they are young we want to instill a spirit of giving in their hearts in a world that tells us we need to "get".

All dressed up and ready to deliver some cookies.  

So what are we doing? Well, this year we are doing an advent activity called Truth in the Tinsel. Every day the kids make an ornament that represents part of the Christmas story. (If you don't have an advent activity and are looking for one - I highly recommend this one.  WELL worth the 8 bucks.)  We are also doing random acts of kindness throughout December. (Check out this site for lots of ideas!) We've already taken the kids to carol and deliver cookies twice (practicing on our parents to see if the kids would really sing). By the way, they did.  And loved it! We are doing gifts, but are not going overboard with them like we have in the past.

Their first advent craft of 2012.

Does this mean we're cutting down on the excitement? I don't think so. Changing the focus of the excitement? Sure. But diminishing it? No. They are enjoying their crafts and look forward to moving the trinket on the advent calendar. They love delivering cookies and making other people smile. Nathan keeps telling me he likes to "help people". They love counting down to Jesus's birthday so they can celebrate it.

Jesus came to give light to a dark world.  Their candle ornaments are reminders of that.  

And that's what is working for us this year.

What does your family do to celebrate Christmas?

Halloween :)

A little photo blog of how we spent Halloween.

In case you wondered, the kids are still on a candy high.  I have to hide the pumpkins in the microwave so they can't sneak candy every time I walk out of the room.  :)

Singin' In The Rain

Or maybe just playin' in the rain.

A Georgia Tech Photo Blog

We took the kids to the Georgia Tech game yesterday.  This trip is a yearly family tradition we started a few years ago.  Here's what our afternoon looked like:

The Kids

It's been a while since I've posted an update on the kids.

And since my world revolves around them right now I thought you might like to know how they're doing.  :)

Their new thing is holding hands.  At random points during the day I'll find them walking around the house together hand in hand.

Yep.  It melts my heart.  

They're best friends (usually).  This is when I'm so glad they are so close in age.  They have their entire lives to be buddies.  

Alex is catching up to the rest of the family with her love of technology.  The Nook is her new favorite toy.  She's learned all of her farm animal sounds through a little app on this thing.  Want to see her temper?  Just take the Nook away.  Go ahead.  I dare you.  

Yep.  Little Miss Attitude.

Nathan is coming into his own as the big brother.  He's turning into a little parent.  Poor Alex doesn't stand a chance against him.  He's our snuggler these days and is almost always the one that makes us bust out in laughter.  I keep saying I'm going to follow him around with a video camera for a day.  I really should.  You wouldn't believe some of the stuff he comes up with.  Things like "I'm not talking back Mommy, I'm talking front."  And "Whew, that was a close one, Mom" (after running to the potty).  And "This apple sure is delicious!"  

And we can't forget about Miah.  I long for the day I can post pictures of her right along with pictures of Nathan and Alex.  Until then we'll just have to settle for words.

I was given a great gift today by the woman adopting Miah's biological sister Cassie.  She was able to meet Miah today!  In the orphanage!  Be still, my heart.  Here's our Miah as described by N:

"so.......we met Miah today! She doesn't seem to like strangers but the nurse we spoke too said she is doing better. I guess Miah and Cassie used to be in the same room at one point. The nurse told us basically what you already know, that she didn't used to eat but now she eats soup and eats with a spoon. She isn't feeding herself but they do use a spoon now. She can sit unsupported but can't stand. She is going to start PT soon, she utters random sounds but has no words. She sucks her thumb. She seemed to recognize herself in the mirror. She makes eye contact which is a good sign."

Friends, this is VERY good news.  Eye contact means her autism isn't as bad as we were preparing for.  She's sitting on her own which is big progress over what was in her medical report - which means her body IS capable of learning new things.  Eating with a spoon means we will have an easier transition getting her to eat when she comes home.  And of course physical therapy means further improvements are coming!

I was able to talk to a very real person who laid eyes on our daughter and gave us a first-hand account of how she is doing. Yes, very good news indeed.

P.S. - we're STILL waiting on SC clearances.    

How He's Prepared Us

Over the past few months Craig and I have told our little adoption story countless times.  I know we will tell it so many more times as the years go by, especially as Miah comes home and we go through daily life with her.  But the more we tell our story the more we see how God has been working in our lives for years to lead us to adoption.  As we continue to tell our story I pray we will never forget that HE'S the one putting the pieces of our lives together.  I pray we will never forget the One who is orchestrating all of this and providing for our needs.  I pray we will never stop giving all of the glory to Him who has chosen to bless our family through adoption.

I was reflecting today on this whole process and our lives leading up to this point.  It really is amazing to see how everything in our lives has pointed us to growing our family through adoption of a special needs child.

- For several summers in my middle school and high school years I took mission trips with our church to downtown Jacksonville, Florida and worked with the children there.  Children who craved attention.  Children who wouldn't have fit in with the kids here where we live.  Children who made me take a second look at my heart.  It was here I started to really learn that God's love is not based on society, money, or class.  God's love is unconditional.  For everyone.  This is the love we are supposed to model.

- In college I tutored a boy with moderate-severe autism and worked in a few special needs classrooms.  Seeing as our daughter will probably have institutional autism for at least a while after coming home, I have gained valuable experience in how to relate to her and help her thrive.

- When Craig and I decided to start our family it took a lot longer than planned.  Not as long as some, thankfully, but long enough that we began to talk about "what if" regarding fertility testing, in-vitro, and adoption.  We didn't have to go that route, but I look back now and see that God waited to give us Nathan and Alex to get the adoption thought planted in our minds.

  

- A week after Alex was born in January of 2011 we felt called to move to a new neighborhood in town.  Our house sold after a WEEK on the market and we were blessed to get an amazing deal on a beautiful large home.  A home that just happens to have an unused extra bedroom downstairs adjacent to a full bath.  A home that, unknowing to us at the time is absolutely perfect for a child who could potentially be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.  A home in a neighborhood where we are surrounded by people who are invested in our lives and in Miah's life.  A home in a neighborhood where we have friends who can (and have!) stopped by at the drop of a hat to lend a hand or a hug.

- As parents we lean toward a more "attachment based" parenting style.  I still break out the Ergo with Alex and wear her around the house.  Our kids slept in our room until they were at least 6 months old.  It's what came natural to us. We got some weird looks, but it worked for us.  Come to find out through adoption training, attachment based parenting is THE BEST way to parent a child from a hard background.  Social workers will tell you it's the only way to parent a child from a hard background.  And it completely makes sense.  I'm thankful that we're already on the right track to help her adjust to her new life with us.  We're nowhere near perfect but we have a good background on how to do things.

- In May of 2011 we left our church of 10+ years and joined the core team to help launch Freedom Church.  We had no idea this would be a major turning point in our lives.  Our faith has been challenged, tested, and strengthened like nothing I've ever experienced.  Freedom Church has changed our lives.

- Shortly after joining Freedom Church we met a couple who just happen to live in our neighborhood and were in the middle of a domestic adoption.  We got to follow them through the highs and lows of adoption and see how very blessed they are by their son.  They helped us become emotionally prepared for whatever might be thrown at us.

And that's just the beginning.  The puzzle is all fitting together.  We were meant to adopt a child from a hard place.

Now we just need Georgia to get the memo so the adoption process can fall into place and we can finish our home study.  ;)

An Evening Out

When I was little my dad made it a habit to take my sister and I out for "date nights".  At least once I month I would get special one-on-one time with him.  A favorite of ours was to go have breakfast at Denny's.  To this day I can remember ordering the Mickey Mouse pancakes.  One time he took me to an Orioles game.  Other times we would see a movie or go do something fun.  We don't do it often anymore, but every now and then I still get special time with him.  Our most recent "date night" was a midnight outing to Wally World to grab a copy of The Hunger Games.  Yes, I'm a tad obsessed. (But hey - I've never read or watched Harry Potter and I never got into the Twilight series.  So I'm allowed this little obsession.  Or so I tell myself.)  Those date nights were fun when I was little, but now that I have kids of my own I really understand how important and special they were.  I know my dad and I wouldn't be so close today if he hadn't made the effort to spend time with JUST me every now and then.  

So Craig and I are adopting that same tradition.  We haven't yet made it happen every month yet, but we're working on it.

Tonight Craig took Nathan to Chick-Fil-A for their father son football night.  I spent the day prepping Nathan for it and he was SO EXCITED to go to a "football party and eat chicken".  While the guys spent their evening surrounded by football Alex and I went shopping.  I took her to her favorite restaurant - Moes - and then we headed to Target.  Yes.  I'm brainwashing my child.  She WILL know that Target is the best store ever.  She already loves shoes and bags.  Now she needs to love Target.  :)

Yes, she even loves mismatched shoes.  Especially if she can put them on herself!

Guys night was a huge success.  Football, chicken, a play place, a balloon, a giant cow, and a living room fort made a little boy's dream evening.  I walked in the door and he couldn't stop talking about it.  He was going a mile a minute trying to tell me everything he did with his Daddy.  It doesn't get much happier than a three year old boy.  

Alex, on the other hand, did NOT enjoy her evening.  I guess I should have seen it coming.  Since she was born she has had Nathan around for at least 90% of the time.  And she was not happy about the fact that he and Craig went off on their own.  She cried the entire way to the mall.  When we left the mall and headed back to the car, she immediately checked Nathan's seat.  When he wasn't there she started screaming.  She finally settled when we sat down to eat our matching quesadillas.  She listened carefully in Target as I showed her how to shop and let her pick out a hair bow.  But as soon as we got in the car and realized Nathan wasn't there she started screaming again.  

Let me clarify something.  This wasn't some high-pitched squeal.  This was an all-out YELL.  In an attempt to distract her I'd copy her screams.  Syllable for syllable, pitch for pitch. It distracted her, but she didn't like it.  She'd yell.  "GAAAAAAH"  I'd yell.  "GAAAAAAH" Then she'd say "No GAAAAH Mommy.  Stop!"  She definitely inherited my attitude.  I think I should be worried.   

At least we know she loves her brother.  

  

If You Give a Child a Crayon...

If you give a child a crayon...

He will decorate his wall.

And when he decorates his wall you will find...

A spider

(the circle on the left with a gazillion legs)

And "letters"

(the zig zags all the way across the bottom of the wall)

And rain.

One long, thin band of rain.  It's trying to "wash the spider out".  

It also appears that there might be some kind of monster, several giant circles, and lots of little tiny dots.  These weren't pointed out when he was describing his artwork to me, so I'm just left to guess what they might be.

And you know what?  I'm TOTALLY okay with this being on the wall.  It's his wall.  In his room.  Beside his bed.  And he's very proud of it.  Shoot, I'm proud of it too.  It's a well thought out mural for a just-turned-three year old.  Sure, it would have been nicer if it had been on paper.  We'll have that discussion later.  For now, we're letting him be proud of the hard work he put forth on his "masterpiece" and hoping not to ever steal his creativity from him.