Two Month Update

Today marks two months from Gotcha Day!  It seems like a lifetime and a day all at the same time.

Maia Faith has spent the last two months learning what it means to have a family.  Family is such a foreign concept to a child raised in an institution.

These kids don't ever leave me alone!

I must say, though, that despite the challenges these adjustments bring, she is doing fantastic.

She's now had two months of nourishing food.  Two months of laughter and eye contact.  Two months of touch.  It's amazing what a little love, a lot of hard work, and a faithful God can do in just two months.

For beginning stats, click HERE.  1 month stats can be found HERE.  Be on the lookout for an update on the rest of us soon as well.  :)

Size: 32 lbs, 3'3" tall.

Wears: 4t (pulling the waist in tight still)

Mobility: crawling, pulling up to her knees.  Will stand with support and come to a standing position on her own.  Will also take steps holding onto our hands.  

Eating: Mashed veggies, chopped chicken and ground beef, rice, yogurt, applesauce, etc.  She will also eat table food that has been finely chopped.  Her favorite food by FAR is yogurt.  We also have her on a toddler formula designed to help children gain weight.  We have discovered that she does not tolerate soy products or cow's milk very well so we are avoiding those.  We have added in a little bit of gluten and she seems to be okay with that, but we are keeping it minimal while her gut continues to heal from 8 years of malnutrition.  

Institutional behaviors: rocking, thumb sucking, repetitive movements, moaning, hands in front of her face, holding things to her ear, chewing on her tongue.  The head banging is almost completely gone now, praise God!  

New things she's learned:  How to come to standing holding onto something by herself.  How to sign "all done".  How to say/sign "again".  To sit indian style instead of "w" style.  That things are WAY more fun when you're not laying down!!  She's also learned to say "dada" and understands who "mommy" and "daddy" are.  She has learned to mash food with her tongue and to make new sounds (popping her lips, blowing raspberries, "lalalala", and "nnnnn").

Maia appears to be progressing developmentally as well.   When she first came home she would cry or whine/stim when going to sleep.  Now she lays in her crib and "chatters" to herself.  I almost missed this milestone, but it is HUGE.  Just as a baby moves from crying to chattering, Maia has done the same!  

She is also now fully involved in physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy.  We are working on tolerance of textures, building an arch in her hands, finger strength, core strength, and balance.  Also working on tracking, signing/speech, and feeding skills.

(She can do this without Craig's arm for support now - but we don't have a video of it yet.)

We have a long way to go, but we've come SO FAR already.  I'm super proud of her as she discovers who God intended her to be - a DAUGHTER who is LOVED.  As much as she is loved by us, she is so much more loved by her heavenly Father and I pray will all my heart that she will come to understand that with time.  

Maia (then Maria) at 19 pounds.  Estimated age 6. This was before the new director came to Pleven and started getting the kids help.

 

Maia (then Maria) June 2012, age 7.  After a hospital stay and some changes made by the new director.

 

Maia at pickup, age 8. 30 lbs.

Maia, 2 months home, age 8. 32 pounds.

We Won't Be Shaken

Having a new child in the house has been interesting.  When that child has special needs things get even more interesting.  I compare the feeling to that of having a newborn in the house.  You have NO CLUE what you're doing.  You rely on instinct and hope that will be enough to not completely screw up your kid.  You find yourself crying for no reason at random times of the day.  Why?  There is no why.  There is no reason to cry other than just feeling completely weird.  Everything's new.  Everything's unknown.  And because there is no one RIGHT way to do this parenting thing, you're left to experiment and find a method that leads to some resemblance of sanity.

Yeah.  I think that comparison pretty much sums up the past month in our house.  This is hard, y'all. My fellow parents of children with special needs: can I get an "amen"?

We are staring into a void of unknowns.  There are tests, therapies, blood work, and more to cover all of our bases and get some idea of where things stand.  We have no idea how development works from here on out.  There's only so much damage a child can take before things slow down permanently.  It's all a guessing game.  Will she walk?  Probably.  Will she talk?  We hope so.  What will her mental capacity be?  We have no idea.  Will she live a normal life?  Not using the world's definition.  Will she ever live independently?  Not likely.

Maia and children like her daily remind us what REALLY matters in this world.  Things don't matter.  Money doesn't matter.  Perfection doesn't matter.  What matters is people.  Time.  Family. 

You see, God has made my calling clear.  It is to care for the three little people who spend most of their days trying to send me to the looney bin.  To show them daily that I love them regardless of whether they make it to the potty in time, keep their legos out from under my feet, or eat their dinner.  To teach them to love Jesus and people.  I will spend the next several years of my life preparing them to conquer the world.  To make a difference.  To live for Jesus.  But when they no longer need me to dress them and get them out the door in time, there will still be one.

One sweet daughter of God who will need a lifetime of care from her forever family.  One miracle who will give us the blessing and burden of practicing a lifetime of unconditional love.  Even if we are left with a lifetime of therapies and appointments.  If we are met with unexpected tests results that shake our core.  If we are left spending the rest of her life spoon feeding her and changing her diapers - bring it on.  What better opportunity to make up for lost time and prove just how much we love her?  What better opportunity to show her how much God loves her?  What better opportunity to show the world that THESE CHILDREN MATTER?  In light of that, the unknowns are nothing.

This world has nothing for me, this life is not my own.
I know You go before me and I am not alone.
This mountain rises higher, the way seems so unclear.
But I know that You go with me so I will never fear.
I will trust in You.

Whatever will come our way, through fire or pouring rain.
We won't be shaken.  No we won't be shaken.
Whatever tomorrow brings, together we'll rise and sing
That we won't be shaken.  No we won't be shaken.  

- Building 429.

The Waiting Game

Ah yes.  The adoption process.  That painful, heart-wrenching, paper-cut-giving, may-everything-that-can-go-wrong-actually-go-wrong process.  They aren't kidding when they say adoption isn't for the faint of heart.  Who is "they" anyway?  I'd like to have a little chat with them.  Faint of heart is an understatement.

Really y'all.  Reflecting back on the last 18 months, it's no wonder we are this close to completion.  And that I'm still somewhat sane. We couldn't decide on an agency.  When we decided on an agency, we couldn't decide on a country.  We decided on a country and God said "that's what YOU think" and led us to a little girl.  A little girl in a country we had marked off the list.  With an agency we had never heard of.  Six months into the process and we only then knew the direction we were heading.  And that was just the beginning.

We rushed through the home study only to be held for WEEKS waiting on state clearances.  Then held up for more weeks waiting on DSS approval.  (Why must DSS approve an international home study anyway?)  Our dossier was FINALLY mailed off to Bulgaria and we got to wait some more.  We waited 9 weeks for a referral (the longest wait at that time) and then waited 7 weeks for a signature on our Article 5 (another long wait compared to most at the time).  We rushed and rushed and rushed to get all of our paperwork done.

We made 4 different trips to our doctors to get forms signed and tests run.
2 drives to Columbia for apostilled paperwork.
Countless trips to the FexEx store to overnight papers to our case worker.
Paper cuts from so much shuffling of documents.
Finger cramps and writers block from said documents.

We accumulated hours of time at the bank waiting to wire money and more hours at the county jail updating fingerprints.  (Side note - apparently constant crocheting wears down your fingerprints.  Who knew?!)  All this while putting on a brave face for most of the people around us who just didn't understand what was really going on.  No matter how hard you try, you can't understand until you live through it.

I've accumulated full days of crying.

Tears over not being in control.
Tears over the heartache our Maia was living through.
Tears over the delays.
Tears over the children who don't have families coming for them.
Tears over the children who passed before meeting their families.
Tears over more waiting.
Tears over anything and everything.

For most of this adoption journey my heart has been in emotional turmoil.  It very literally PAINED me to walk this path.  The waiting, the disappointments, the waiting some more.  And then I had to meet our daughter and leave her in her orphanage while we finished more paperwork.  More pain.  All this while knowing our process was pretty normal with no major issues.  Some families live through MUCH more pain than we did.

I'm writing this post not to scare those of you beginning the process (though I may have!) but to encourage you.  You will hurt.  You will wait.  You will cry.  But remember: THIS TOO WILL PASS.  The pain morphs.  It recedes.  It disappears altogether.  The waiting will take longer than you want, but you won't wait forever.

We are staring into the light at the end of the tunnel.  The paperwork is over.  The to-do list is almost checked off.  All that's left is to hop on a plane.  Did I ever think we would get here?  Not really.  I honestly thought we were going to be stuck waiting forever.  Irrational?  Of course.  But guess what? We didn't wait forever.  And the pain of waiting has already subsided.  Even better: it doesn't seem to have taken quite so long looking back on it now.

Take heart, my adopting friends.  This too will pass.  And the waiting will be MORE than worth it.

"Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning."  Ps 30:5

First Families

We had the honor of sitting down to lunch with some very dear friends of ours (who just happen to be our pastor and his wife) and, as usually does, the conversation turned to orphans, adoption, and other related things.

We just can't help it.  Sorry.  :)

We talked today about different aspects of orphan care.  You know by now my heart is burdened for orphans.  I love adoption and I fully believe that adoption is Biblically based.  After all, God adopted us!  But friends, adoption isn't the only answer.  Adoption in and of itself won't solve the orphan crisis.  Adoption provides a child who's lost his family with a new family.  God designed the family structure and I believe He desires for every child to be a part of a family.  When that family is missing, it's time to step up and adopt or foster.

(Maia lived the first 8 years of her life without a family.)

According to the Christian Alliance for Orphans, there are 153 million orphans in the world today.  But listen!  Only 17.8 million of those children are what we call "double orphans" (children who have lost both parents).  (These numbers do not include children living in institutions and living on the streets.) This means that 135.2 million children in the world still have a living biological parent.

Friends. I think we are failing a vast majority of those children. We are missing a vital part of orphan care: SAVING FIRST FAMILIES.  Preventing that child from hitting "orphan status" to begin with.  We should be helping these children before there is a need for adoption.

First families come first.  At least, in my mind they should.  Whenever possible, we should be doing what we can to KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER.  What if, instead of adopting little Annie who has a Mommy who loves her, but cannot find the funds to care for her, we provide those funds?  We are still carrying out God's command to care for orphans and widows.  And we are allowing that child to remain with her first family.  To remain in her culture.  To live life with the family God first picked for her.

Obviously this doesn't pan out for every child.  Some parents don't want their children.  Some parents are physically or mentally incapable of caring for their children.  Some parents can't care for their child with major medical needs. That's where adoption and fostering come in.  But until that point, we need to be caring for the FAMILY.

(Image credit)

How do we do that?  I think one of the biggest ways we can help these kids is through child sponsorship.  Check out Compassion International for starters!  Locally, meet a need when you see one.  Encourage the single dad who just needs a kind word.  Pay the electric bill for the mom who's working overtime trying to make ends meet.  Surround the single parents in your community and provide the encouragement and resources they need to keep their families together.

First families come first.  Let's help those first families remain intact.

A Year Ago Today

A year ago today we saw this face.

A year ago today I inquired about the sad little girl in the picture.

A year ago today this picture was sent back to me.

A year ago today I was told nobody was interested in her.  Nobody wanted her.

 

A year ago today I was told she had spent her ENTIRE 7 years of life without a family.

A year ago today our lives changed forever.

And so did hers.  Because a year ago today, halfway across the world, somebody WANTED her.  

And, in hopefully one month, she will come home forever. 

The Answer

The following article popped up on my Facebook today.  I wish I hadn't seen it.  But some things are meant to be seen.  It's an article about unsightly acts done to children unable to defend themselves.  Abortion.  And so much more.  Please read it so you can better understand the following post.  http://usatoday.com/article/news/2072577

Now that we are on the same page, I want to share my heart.

Abortion.  The utterance of that very word can start an argument like a match starts a fire in a haystack.  It's an extremely sensitive topic no matter which side of the coin you are on.  And I think, because of the fear of offending, we as Christians stand back and do nothing.  Or we feel so strongly about our beliefs on the matter that we jump on the bandwagon of hate.  Can I be so bold as to tell you that neither of these actions do anything to bring glory to God?  And they certainly don't solve the problem.

As a Christian, a woman, a mom, and an adopting mom, I do NOT believe abortion is an acceptable solution to any problem.  As a woman, I can understand how our country has come to the conclusion that it is the woman's choice.  And I can respect that.  God gives us free will to make our own decisions.  Abortion is a decision that must be made.

But, fellow women, there is a better decision.

This decision is a hard one.  It's not one that can be brought about through hate, boycotting, picketing, or negative marketing.  This decision must be brought about through LOVE.

Sadly, the church has failed you in this way.  I wish I could apologize for all of us.  But I can only apologize for myself and those around me.  I am deeply and utterly sorry for the hate you have experienced as a result of your situation.  I'm sorry for the judgement I used to pass on you.  I now know how scary pregnancy can be and how much children change your future.  And I respect your right to choose to not raise your child.  I can only imagine the pain that comes with that decision.

But I have a solution for you.  And it's not abortion.  It's called ADOPTION.  A beautiful, amazing, inspiring picture of both LIFE and CHOICE.  The choice to give your child LIFE.

And that's where the church must step in.

Church: we must put aside the hate surrounding this issue and embrace the love and grace of Christ.  We need to step in and help these women who have nowhere to turn.  Stop the hateful speeches and judgmental rants.  Show love.  Show acceptance.  And give a solution.

We need to be a safe haven.  A place of refuge where women can come in their fear and find ANSWERS. And by answers, I don't mean words.  I mean actions.  We need to be ready to step up and offer a family for the child whose mother cannot keep him.  We need to offer support for that mother as she carries on with her life.  We need to be an adoption minded people.  We cannot sit on the sidelines and condemn the choice a woman makes.  We need to get involved.  Get dirty.  Fight for life.  And give the opportunity of life to the women who must make that decision.

Step up.  Share the vision.  Share your knowledge.  Share your story.  And be ready to watch God move mountains!

The waiting

Our adoption runs a little different than most adoptions. Most adoptions, for instance, start with a family who decides to adopt. They pick an agency and then a country. Or vice versa. Then they complete their home study and send in their dossier. Then they wait 2-3 years for a referral. After referral they fill out the remaining paperwork and wait for court, after which they can go pick up their child.

We are adopting a waiting child from a country that does things quite a bit different from most. We decided to adopt and then God led us to a child. At that point, clearly, we knew the country we were adopting from and used the agency our child was registered with. (A HUGE blessing in disguise because they are SO wonderful!). We placed our daughter on hold and then compiled our dossier. The dossier was sent off and now we wait for a referral. A referral that does not take 2-3 years to come, but usually 2-3 months at most. The referral leads to a visit which will eventually lead to a court date and pickup 3-6 months later.

All that said, our adoption is much faster than the "typical " international adoption. We are not waiting two years for a referral of a child we don't yet know. We are waiting for a referral for a child who is already engrained in our hearts and whose face we cannot shake from our minds. The wait is hard. A lot of people don't understand it. I'm describing it as excruciating.

Why excruciating? Because the child we are waiting on is not in good health. She's not in a good place. She's not receiving the care she should be receiving in the states. She's not being loved like she deserves. She waits. And my heart longs to rescue her and bring her home where she will never know what it means to be lonely or hungry or abandoned again.

Thinking of my DAUGHTER over there facing life on her own is painful. Even more painful is knowing that our lives are not yet complete without her. I want her here. So she can be taken care of? Of course. But more importantly because I love her and I want to be able to tell her that. I want her in my life, not across the ocean.

In case you havent figured it out yet, we don't have referral. We have now been waiting almost 2 months. Not overly long, but not a quick wait either. I keep reminding myself that Gods hand is on our daughter and He loves her and longs for her to have a family even more than we do.

I trust in His timing. He knows what He's doing and is protecting Miah until we can bring her home. But I still wait and cry over the daughter I cannot yet hold and love. Until that day comes I will pray and know that all of this love will overflow onto her just when she needs it most.

And I pray that day will come soon.

There are no words

It's 3am here on the east coast. I have yet to sleep and don't think I will tonight. As I lay beside our two year old I can't turn my brain off. I cant make myself leave my childrens sides. I hold them close. I thank God for them. And every time I close my eyes I see his face.

The boy in Eastern Europe with Down syndrome who was transferred to a mental institution because those in his country didn't see his worth. He had a family coming for him. I even helped raise money for his adoption.

With tears I tell you that he went to be with Jesus yesterday. The extreme neglect and starvation he received in the institution were too much for him. He suffered, never knowing how hard his mommy and daddy were fighting for him.

I cannot wrap my head around the injustice. I cannot fathom the indifference it takes to let a child starve to death. I cannot imagine the loss his parents are feeling right now.

Friends, it's time to wake up! It's time to come together and do something about this! Children should NOT dying alone without comfort and love!

These children need families. There are so many out there just like Quinn - we need to get to them before its too late. We need to advocate for them and open our world's eyes to these tragedies. We can't sit around doing nothing anymore!

Pray
Support
Share
Advocate
Adopt

Surely we all can do at least one if these and watch as God redeems these children.

"I will not leave you as orphans, I will come for you."

Tonight I praise Jesus that Quinn is no longer an orphan. Tonight I grieve for the loss his parents are feeling. Tonight I long more than ever to bring Miah home where she will never be alone again.

Longing

Ever since I first saw her sad, lonely face I felt drawn to her. The empty girl who was so carelessly held for her picture. A picture that did nothing to show off her beauty and great potential. But still, despite the emptiness, sadness, and fear, my heart connected to her.

She was to be our daughter.

And now, just over 6 months later, the paperwork has been sent. Documents have been translated, and the massive stack that represents hours of work and hundreds of dollars lies on a desk somewhere waiting for approval.

It's all becoming very real to me now. We are close.

Close to the day that we finally get to meet our eldest child.

Her biological sister is now home with her family. Another close friend just brought their new son home. And yet another close friend is preparing to travel in just over a week to meet her daughter. Those who have gone before us are finishing up their journeys. This means our turn is coming.

When? We don't really know. But we are hoping, praying, begging for our turn to come soon.

The longing in my soul to meet this child who has stolen my heart is unlike anything I have ever experienced before. Unlike our two biological children, I have not had the pleasure of feeling her move in my womb. I have not had the joy of seeing her face via ultrasound. I missed her first cries. Her first smile. Her first laugh. I wasn't there the day she was taken to the orphanage. I did not even know she existed as she spent day after day in her crib. I was not there for her very first picture - the picture that would eventually lead us to her.

We have missed 7 years of her life. For 7 years we had no idea something so great was missing from our lives. And now that we know what we are lacking, the anticipation to fill that void is almost painful.

I cannot accurately explain the longing in my soul to hold this tiny little girl. To show her love. To rub my finger across her cheek. To look into the eyes of the one who stole my heart with a picture. I cannot explain the adrenaline that surges through me as I think about buying a plane ticket to take us to her. I cannot imagine the agony of that flight as it seems to move ever so slowly toward her. I cannot explain the pain in my heart knowing that after loving on her for 5 days, I will have to say goodbye.

The emotions belong in a novel. On the big screen. On stage. Somewhere better explained than on this little blog. I cannot do them justice.

I long for the day when God gives us the chance to start making up for those lost years. I ache to bring her home to the brother and sister who already know her by name and love her. I cannot WAIT for the day we carry her into church and introduce her to everyone who has prayed and cried over her.

My heart is overwhelmed thinking about this all coming true.

And with pain, anticipation, desire, and excitement in my heart I realize: this is just a small taste of God's longing for me. For us. For the world.

Oh, how He loves us so.

What's next?

As you all know, we sent our dossier to Eastern Europe last month. It was then translated and submitted to the governing authorities. So what's next?

We wait.

The next step in this process is referral. As soon as we get an official referral we can begin making travel plans to go visit Miah for the very first time! Will you join us in praying for a quick referral? Please? We are unsure of when our dossier was officially submitted, but we are hoping for a referral by the end of the month. The time from dossier submission to referral can range anywhere from 3 weeks to 2.5 months, it seems. 4 weeks is the average from my little informal poll among friends. So we are shooting for 4 weeks. Which would probably be the end of January.

I course all of this is just wishful thinking and faith. We have no solid numbers to go by, so I'm just guessing here.

I can say that we will probably travel in February or March. That's pretty certain I think. And I can't wait!!!

Everything is in Gods timing. We know that. While I'm praying for a quick referral, we know He is in control. My bigger prayer is that God is using this time to prepare Miah's heart to meet us and to prepare our hearts to know how to interact with her and connect with her during this visit.

I've been on my knees a lot lately. My stomach has been in knots a lot lately. Things are starting to become very real. This isn't a dream - it's really happening! We are getting closer to meeting our girl!

Why Not Domestic?

Craig and I had a video air on the local news about our adoption last week. Several people commented on that video and asked why we are adopting internationally when there are so many kids in the United States who need families. There really isn't a clear cut explanation to say why, other than that this is what God called us to.

But it spurred a long thought process for me about our perceptions of adoption and how a lot of people think "their" way of adoption is the best (or only) way to adopt. I wanted to address that mindset. The mindset of one adoption being better than another.

We have friends who are getting ready to go pick up their daughter from Asia. She is healthy, young, and from what I understand, doesn't have any "big problems". I struggled with judgement toward this family for several weeks because they were not willing to adopt a child with more severe special needs.

We also have friends who have finished all of the domestic adoption paperwork and have been waiting for over a year now for a healthy baby boy to add to their family. I am ashamed to admit that I judged them as well for not choosing a waiting child.

Then God got a hold of me and helped me realize that He sees us all equally. The healthy child in China means just as much to Him as the unborn boy who will be given up by his mother. We adopt because God adopted us first. I need Him just as much as the murderer in jail. Miah needs Him just as much as our biological children.

Adoption is beautiful, no matter the cost, location, or needs of the child. Every child should be given the chance to belong to a family that loves them.

Craig and I have talked to several families recently who want to adopt but are unsure of which path to choose. The advice we give is to seek Gods will and His alone. He chooses different paths for different people in order to save as many as possible. If we all adopted domestically, there would be an overflow of orphans in China and other parts of the world. If we all adopted internationally, our streets here would be overrun with orphans. Adoption is needed everywhere. Just like Jesus is needed everywhere.

In the words Emmerson Eggerichs, it's "not wrong, just different".

Craig reminded me of a song that's been on his mind since seeing that comment three days ago. I goes like this:

"Jesus loves the little children, ALL the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world."

And so should we.

Advent

It's no surprise to the people who know me that Christmas is my favorite time of year. I love the lights, the tree, wreaths, nativities, cookies, candies, parties, and...well...I pretty much love all of it. I love the Christmas season so much that we set up the tree before Thanksgiving this year.  :)  I sit by it every night and crochet the evening away.

Our 2012 Christmas Tree

I am especially loving this year as I watch Nathan's excitement over the season. I watch him as he remembers traditions from last year and makes the connection that we are continuing this memories. I love watching Alex's face as she experiences Christmas as a toddler who is walking around and understanding things. I love watching them anticipate the season together.  Watching them laugh and sing and dance around.  Watching them listen to the Christmas story and make connections about Jesus.  Watching them take in the Christmas lights on our walk.  I love it all.

Sorting ornaments for "their" tree.

But along with the excitement and joy I feel watching them experience Christmas comes a great feeling of responsibility. Craig and I are directly responsible for how our kids view Christmas. We are directly responsible for whether they come out of childhood thinking Christmas is all about them or if they come out of childhood knowing Christmas is all about HIM.

The nativity I received from my in-laws.  My constant reminder of WHO the season is really about it.  

How do you find the balance? The balance of receiving gifts and giving gifts. The balance of fun and excitement and reverence for what this day means to us. The balance of the material side of Christmas and the spiritual side of Christmas. The balance of going and doing and just sitting and abiding. It's a big job we have as parents. How to "do Christmas".  Sometimes it overwhelms me.

Daddy and Alex, decorating the kids' tree.

For our family in this season, we're making Christmas about giving. Giving to Jesus through giving to others. We're also doing everything we can to point our kids to Jesus this season. For us this means minimizing Santa.  We're also not doing the Elf on the Shelf. (Pretty sure I'd stress out trying to keep up with that guy!). We're not doing a tree full of gifts or an advent activity full of chocolate and presents. While they are young we want to instill a spirit of giving in their hearts in a world that tells us we need to "get".

All dressed up and ready to deliver some cookies.  

So what are we doing? Well, this year we are doing an advent activity called Truth in the Tinsel. Every day the kids make an ornament that represents part of the Christmas story. (If you don't have an advent activity and are looking for one - I highly recommend this one.  WELL worth the 8 bucks.)  We are also doing random acts of kindness throughout December. (Check out this site for lots of ideas!) We've already taken the kids to carol and deliver cookies twice (practicing on our parents to see if the kids would really sing). By the way, they did.  And loved it! We are doing gifts, but are not going overboard with them like we have in the past.

Their first advent craft of 2012.

Does this mean we're cutting down on the excitement? I don't think so. Changing the focus of the excitement? Sure. But diminishing it? No. They are enjoying their crafts and look forward to moving the trinket on the advent calendar. They love delivering cookies and making other people smile. Nathan keeps telling me he likes to "help people". They love counting down to Jesus's birthday so they can celebrate it.

Jesus came to give light to a dark world.  Their candle ornaments are reminders of that.  

And that's what is working for us this year.

What does your family do to celebrate Christmas?

Thankful

During this season of thanks we have much to be thankful for.  Especially in regards to our adoption finances.

As many of you know - adoption is expensive.  International adoption is even more expensive.  The estimated cost of Miah's adoption is $30k.  With much excitement, tears, awe, and thanks, we are currently able to say that we need only about $3,660 more to be FULLY funded.  Friends, this is nothing short of a miracle that we are so close to having this need met already.

We are thankful.  Thankful to those who have given.  Thankful to those who have prayed.  Thankful for the kind words you all have shared with us.  Thankful for the following note that we received in the mail today:

"Dear Amy and Craig,
 As I reflect on God's blessing for me, my family, and friends, your act of love in adopting Miah stands out to me as one of the most selfless actions that can be done in our Father's name.  Please use this love offering to get a step closer to being debt free when Miah arrives.  Blessings, ...."

And notes like this that greeted me on Facebook tonight in regards to the $4k we received today from two different people:

"This providence falls from heaven less than a week after you stop fundraising via owls for Miah and start cranking out owls for Quinn. Thank you for your faith and for stepping out... I think this is God saying "Well done.""

It's hard for me to share those notes because a) they make me cry and b) we don't like to draw attention to ourselves.  All glory belongs to God.  But I without a doubt believe that God blesses our sacrifice.  When we chose to walk the adoption road we knew God would take care of the finances if this adoption was His will for our lives.  And He has done so much more than that!  When I stepped out in faith and began donating the Owls for Orphans profits to Quinn's family I knew God would continue to provide for our needs when they arose.  And I believe the checks we received today are proof of that.  Thank you, Joleigh, for pointing this out to me!  

I share all of this to remind you, friends, that God provides.  It may not be in our timing, but He WILL provide what we need.  And He will bless your sacrifices when you step out in faith.

My adopting friends, don't be scared of the finances.  We are proof there is nothing to fear.

God is good.  Amen.

Hope

Hope.  Webster defines hope as "cherishing a desire with anticipation".   You might currently be hoping for a promotion.  Or a bonus at work.  Or even a new job altogether.  Maybe you're hoping for a new car or the latest smart phone for Christmas.  Maybe you're hoping for healing.  Or peace.  Or reconciliation.  We hope for all sorts of things.  We don't hope for things that mean nothing to us.  We hope for what's important to us.  Whether it be material, emotional, or spiritual, we hope for that which we desire.

Hope.

It has a completely different meaning for Quinn.  You see, Quinn's hope is fading.  It has been for a while.  Hope for Quinn is a dimly lit candle who's flame is barely providing light at all.  There's not much left to hang on to.

Quinn was transferred from his orphanage earlier this year to a mental institution in Eastern Europe.  He now spends close to 24 hours a day in a crib.  No eye contact.  No stimulation.  Just himself, his self-soothing behaviors, and the little hope he has left.

Quinn hopes for a family.  His down syndrome made that next to impossible in his birth country. International adoption was the hope he clung to. But transfer to an institution changes things drastically.  80% of children transferred to an institution die within their first year there.  EIGHTY PERCENT.  That statistic doesn't help Quinn's chances at all.

He needs a family.  Now.

He needs someone to step out in faith. Someone to say "yes".  Someone to be his family.  Down syndrome should NOT be a death sentence.  But without a family, it will be one for Quinn.  Children with down syndrome are shunned in this country.  They are placed in orphanages and left to die.

When did we go so very wrong?  These are children of God.  And yet we have allowed the world to corrupt our thinking as we let children like Quinn sit in an institution and die.  God made Quinn just as he is.  He loves him.  I have this image in my head of God weeping over the state of these children.  The ones He created in His image.  The ones He loved enough to give His Son for.

Quinn needs a family.  It's the only hope he has left.  Could you be his family?  What are you scared of?

 Friends, God is MORE than capable of providing.  We're living proof that He can provide the funds for your adoption.  He can provide the doctors, counselors, and support for you as you walk this road.   He can put people in your path who have walked the same road.  There is nothing to fear.

Will you pray that Quinn finds renewed hope soon?  Hope in the form of a family.  A family to rescue him.  To love him.  To provide for his needs and so much more.  A family to show him Jesus.

I was blessed to watch a video and read a report of Quinn today.  This little boy has so much life left in him!  I know he can bring so much joy to someone out there!  You just have to look at that smile above to see it.  

If you might be Quinn's family please email Nina at nina.t@chiadopt.com.

***I so desperately want Quinn to find a family that from today on, every dime I make from the Owls for Orphans project will be set aside for the family who comes for Quinn.  Our adoption is not yet fully funded, but we know God will provide.  Miah has a family coming.  Quinn still needs one.  I'm stepping out in faith here knowing someone out there will come for him.  Is it you?

Our Adoption Story (Video Style)

Craig and I were given the incredible honor of being able to directly participate in Orphan Sunday yesterday at our church.  Our family as well as some close friends of ours had the opportunity to share our adoption story and raise awareness of orphans and the role adoption plays in orphan care.  Check it out below.

Disclaimer: I've been told tissues come in handy.


Adoption-Miah from Freedom Church on Vimeo.


Many thanks to leanncannonphotography.com for the amazing video production!

Just Wanted to Say "Thanks"

I know we say it a lot, but we could never say it enough.

To those who sacrificed your time to help with our Raising Hope dinner: thank you.
To those who bought tickets and came to our Raising Hope dinner: thank you.

To those who have prayed with us, cried with us, and held us up emotionally so far: thank you.
To those who have given financially to our adoption fund: thank you.
To those who have bought owls, bought necklaces, and participated in fundraisers: thank you.

To those who have shared Miah's story with your friends and family: thank you.

THANK YOU.  We could never say it enough.

As we near the end of the first leg of this adoption journey I am reminded of the love and support that surrounds us.  You know who you are.  To those who are invested in this journey with us - thank you.

You are part of this!  You are helping to change this little girl's life.  You have shared her story and given to a cause that is the very heart of Jesus.  Most of you will meet Miah, hug her, teach her, and love on her throughout the rest of her life.  You will pass her by in church and smile knowing you helped bring her home.  You will drive by our yard and wave as we color with chalk on the sidewalk.  Some of you will sit on our carpet and play blocks and read stories to her.  Your children will play with her.  A few of you will be so invested in her life that she will never forget you.

We are keeping an adoption journal through this process to give to Miah when/if she's ready for it.  If you have given, shared, encouraged, or supported us through this journey - you are mentioned in that journal.  Miah will know you.  Even if she never meets you, she will know you care for her deeply.

To those who have shown your love for us during these last few months: THANK YOU.  We could never do this without you.  Now it's time to push forward and get this second stage done!

A Day Like No Other

As terrible of a day as Tuesday was, today has been the total opposite.

If you remember, we got the news Tuesday that our clearances had yet to be processed.  I fell apart.  I could not find a peace about the situation and we decided to call in outside help.  I posted on our church's networking site asking for prayers that these clearances would come through this week.  We then talked to our case worker about what to do next.

After getting contact info for our senators we were preparing to send off an official letter asking for their help when I got the call from our social worker letting us know that she had Craig's clearance from Georgia IN HER HAND!  Thank you all for the prayers!  That's a huge step out of the way now.  And as of 1:30 this afternoon Craig had faxed the request to Senator Graham asking for his help in getting our SC clearances returned.  Hopefully we'll hear something back before the end of the day regarding that.

I also got news this morning that Miah is eating well, gaining weight, and will be starting physical therapy soon!  Even better news!

BUT, if you're my friend on Facebook, you know there's something bigger going on right now.  I've hinted at some very big news.  News that has had me yelling, sobbing, jumping up and down, and turning circles around our living room.  The cats have determined that I have gone mad.  Who knows.  Maybe I have.

But before I share the news, you need some background information.  There's a little group on Facebook that I belong to that is just for families adopting with CHI in the country we are adopting from.  They have become my lifeline these past few months.  They answer all of my questions and encourage me when I'm down.  We hold each other up and share in our joys and trials.  They are like family to us.

So I'm on Facebook today reading everyone's adoption drama and I get a message from a fellow CHI member who is currently visiting her daughter.  Her daughter who just happens to live in the same orphanage as Miah.  It's always neat to share that connection with people.

But wait.  It gets better.

She went on to tell me that they met with the orphanage director this morning to talk about their Cassie's medical history, family, etc.

And that's when she told me that Cassie has a 7 year old sister living at that orphanage with the same given name that our Miah has.

If you haven't caught on yet, get with the picture!  CASSIE AND MIAH ARE BIOLOGICAL SISTERS!

Those who have or are adopting know the significance behind this.

This is a POSITIVE link to Miah's past that we will be able to share with her.  There's not much that's positive about where she is right now, but this is something that we will be able to share with her that is GOOD.  Cassie is a link she will have to her culture and her life before we adopted her.

This also means that I have a contact living in Miah's birth country for the next few months who could very possibly run into Miah on occasion and give us updates.  :)  I'm secretly hoping the orphanage director gives her permission to see Miah and love on her for me.

And this also means that we now know a little more about Miah's family and birth mother.  We are gathering small pieces of information that we can share with her when she's ready.  Her life is not full of unknowns anymore!

God is good.  And He is faithful.  Miah Faith literally means "My Faith".  I think it fits her well.  :)

And in case you wondered, this journey is WAY more emotional than pregnancy.  :)

An Update of No Update

Craig called our senator yesterday and was told they would call him back today.  Nothing.  He also emailed an old family friend who has connections in high places.  Still nothing.  Our clearance paperwork was sent to Georgia AGAIN today.  Still nothing.

When we realized a month ago that things were moving slower than we expected in this part of the home study I was okay with it.  I was at peace with whatever would happen knowing that we were doing all we could do.  I was irritated, but only for a few minutes.  It really didn't bother me.

Out of nowhere I felt this incredible need to talk to our social worker and see where things stood.  Upon finding out that we are no closer to getting our state clearances than we were a month ago, I lost it.  I was close to tears all day.  The more I prayed for peace over the timing of the situation, the more and more I felt unrest.  The more I prayed for patience the more urgency I felt.  For some reason I can't place my finger on I keep having this nagging feeling that we need to GET THIS DONE.  It's just an instinct inside me that wasn't there three days ago.  It came out of the blue and it came strong.  I don't have any idea what's going on.  I have fleeting thoughts that there are new or worse problems with Miah's health.  I have fleeting thoughts that the court system in her country might change and we need to beat the system.  I have fleeting thoughts that something is going to strike our family and that for some reason this stage needs to be done before that happens.  It's strange.  I CANNOT get the situation out of my mind.  The last 24+ hours I've been praying for the safety of Miah and our family and the speediness of the people running our clearances.  I've been praying that God's will be done and that He be glorified in every stage of our lives.

After mentioning this feeling of urgency and unrest to our friends who are adopting, our case worker with CHI emailed our agency in Miah's country and has asked them to go check on Miah and give us an update.  Praise God!  Knowledge is power and we're about to know how Miah's doing NOW.  And then I will either know to pray like crazy for her health or to relax and pray like crazy for our home study.  :)

Time for a Miracle

The following is a letter I sent out to our church family this afternoon:

As some of you know, Craig and I are adopting a child from Eastern Europe.  Her name is Miah and she is 7 years old.  What most of you probably don’t know is that at 7 years old she weighs 20 pounds and is severely malnourished and neglected.  Because of her extreme neglect her life and health are at risk.  We have a letter from a doctor at MUSC asking for an expedited adoption process in order to get her to the US where she can receive food and adequate medical care.  It is imperative for her to leave her orphanage as fast as humanly possible.  

Up until this point that letter has been honored.  Our home study is almost finished and our social worker has approved our adoption of a special needs child.  All we need to complete the home study are our state child abuse and neglect clearances.  These should have been finished 3 weeks ago, but have still not been received.

The state of Georgia is proving to be exceedingly difficult throughout this process.  They are not returning phone calls or emails and it is next to impossible to get a supervisor on the phone.  We’ve sent our paperwork to them three times now.  We've sent our paperwork to South Carolina twice and we’ve now been told that they are processing our request, but are being very slow about it.  

I come to you as our church family with a heavy heart.  The longer our daughter waits in that orphanage, the harder it becomes for her to adjust to life outside it’s walls.  The longer she waits the harder it will be to begin feeding her and getting her therapies.  The longer she waits, the more her caretakers tell her through their actions that she is not loved or valued.  

All we need to move on to the next step are three sheets of paper.  We can do nothing else until we receive those.  

We know there is power in prayer and that where two or more are gathered God will meet us.  Please join us in spirit as we pray for this paperwork to be processed.  Pray that the hearts of these workers will be opened and that our clearances will be sent with no further delays.  Pray that God will continue to have His hand on Miah and that she will be protected.  

God can work miracles.  He’s kept her alive for 7 years when nobody thought she would survive.  I have no doubt he can get this paperwork to us this week.  

Thanks for listening and for your continual support of us through this process.  We love you all!

Will you join us in praying?  While I don't believe God is the one slowing down this process, I do know He can use these delays for good.  Please join us in praying that He will work a miracle and that we will have these clearances by the end of the week.  He can do it.  He can do it easily.  And it's only through His power that it can happen.  

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

How He's Prepared Us

Over the past few months Craig and I have told our little adoption story countless times.  I know we will tell it so many more times as the years go by, especially as Miah comes home and we go through daily life with her.  But the more we tell our story the more we see how God has been working in our lives for years to lead us to adoption.  As we continue to tell our story I pray we will never forget that HE'S the one putting the pieces of our lives together.  I pray we will never forget the One who is orchestrating all of this and providing for our needs.  I pray we will never stop giving all of the glory to Him who has chosen to bless our family through adoption.

I was reflecting today on this whole process and our lives leading up to this point.  It really is amazing to see how everything in our lives has pointed us to growing our family through adoption of a special needs child.

- For several summers in my middle school and high school years I took mission trips with our church to downtown Jacksonville, Florida and worked with the children there.  Children who craved attention.  Children who wouldn't have fit in with the kids here where we live.  Children who made me take a second look at my heart.  It was here I started to really learn that God's love is not based on society, money, or class.  God's love is unconditional.  For everyone.  This is the love we are supposed to model.

- In college I tutored a boy with moderate-severe autism and worked in a few special needs classrooms.  Seeing as our daughter will probably have institutional autism for at least a while after coming home, I have gained valuable experience in how to relate to her and help her thrive.

- When Craig and I decided to start our family it took a lot longer than planned.  Not as long as some, thankfully, but long enough that we began to talk about "what if" regarding fertility testing, in-vitro, and adoption.  We didn't have to go that route, but I look back now and see that God waited to give us Nathan and Alex to get the adoption thought planted in our minds.

  

- A week after Alex was born in January of 2011 we felt called to move to a new neighborhood in town.  Our house sold after a WEEK on the market and we were blessed to get an amazing deal on a beautiful large home.  A home that just happens to have an unused extra bedroom downstairs adjacent to a full bath.  A home that, unknowing to us at the time is absolutely perfect for a child who could potentially be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.  A home in a neighborhood where we are surrounded by people who are invested in our lives and in Miah's life.  A home in a neighborhood where we have friends who can (and have!) stopped by at the drop of a hat to lend a hand or a hug.

- As parents we lean toward a more "attachment based" parenting style.  I still break out the Ergo with Alex and wear her around the house.  Our kids slept in our room until they were at least 6 months old.  It's what came natural to us. We got some weird looks, but it worked for us.  Come to find out through adoption training, attachment based parenting is THE BEST way to parent a child from a hard background.  Social workers will tell you it's the only way to parent a child from a hard background.  And it completely makes sense.  I'm thankful that we're already on the right track to help her adjust to her new life with us.  We're nowhere near perfect but we have a good background on how to do things.

- In May of 2011 we left our church of 10+ years and joined the core team to help launch Freedom Church.  We had no idea this would be a major turning point in our lives.  Our faith has been challenged, tested, and strengthened like nothing I've ever experienced.  Freedom Church has changed our lives.

- Shortly after joining Freedom Church we met a couple who just happen to live in our neighborhood and were in the middle of a domestic adoption.  We got to follow them through the highs and lows of adoption and see how very blessed they are by their son.  They helped us become emotionally prepared for whatever might be thrown at us.

And that's just the beginning.  The puzzle is all fitting together.  We were meant to adopt a child from a hard place.

Now we just need Georgia to get the memo so the adoption process can fall into place and we can finish our home study.  ;)