We Can Make a Difference

I've said it before and I'll say it again: we are surrounded by supportive, encouraging, Christ-following friends who are behind our adoption journey 100%.  We are blessed more than most with the amount of support in our lives.  Miah is going to be loved by hundreds of people.

But every adopting family has at least a few people who just don't get it.  We have a couple of those as well.  People who have told us "If you want to help this child, sent some money to her.  You cannot sacrifice your family for one girl."  And "You'll be throwing your lives away by taking her in." And the one everyone hears at least once in their journey: "That's just your emotions talking".  Some think we're just plain crazy.

I'll admit it: the first person who didn't "agree" with our role in this journey crushed my spirit.  There were tears.  And some anger.  I was dumbfounded.  How can people not see how important these children are?!  But it's true.  That's why they're in an orphanage to begin with.  People look at them and see them as worthless.  I sought counsel from my dear friend (and our Pastor's wife) and was reminded that special needs adoption is VERY new, even to most Christians.  Maybe God will use us open the eyes of some of our friends.  We are to extend grace to those who don't understand.

So with no hard feelings or judgments, I'd like to address the above statements.

You cannot sacrifice your family for one girl.  Well, we can.  But we're not.  We don't see it as a sacrifice AT ALL.  If I were to get pregnant tomorrow and our child were to be born with cerebral palsy and be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life, would we still parent her?  Love her?  Or would we tell her the sacrifice is too much and send her on her way?  An extreme example, yes, but that's how we see Miah.  She is our daughter.  Raising her, loving her, and caring for her will not be a sacrifice.  EVERY child is worthy of a family.

Just send some money to her orphanage.  Well, we can.  But there are no guarantees how or where that money would be spent.  In the past it has gone straight into the director's pocket and not a cent has gone to the children.  We WILL give the orphanage a donation after the adoption is final, but that's not the only way we have chosen to help Miah.

You'll be throwing your lives away by taking her in.  I guess it could be seen that way.  It's true, the next several years following Miah's arrival home will probably consist of multiple doctor's appointments, therapies, schooling, and interventions each week. We will most likely have to change our family's diet drastically to boost Miah's immune system and detox her poor little body.  We may very well end up a gluten free, sugar free family at least for a few months.  Our lives will no doubt change by leaps and bounds.  But we don't see that as "throwing our lives away".  We see it as investing in something far beyond ourselves.

It's just your emotions.  True.  I'm emotional.  There's no denying that.  But we've given this a lot more thought than just an emotional commitment.  Hours, days, weeks of prayer have gone into this decision.  It was not made lightly.  I fully believe God can use our emotions to draw our attention to the things that break His heart.

And for those of you out there who might think that these children are "too far gone" to be helped, hop on over to Adeye's blog and watch her video of Hasya.  Hasya has only spent a few hours a day for 5 days with her soon-to-be Mommy.  And she is making eye contact, smiling, and LAUGHING.  Don't ever doubt the power of God to change a person's life.  Especially in regards to the least of these.

Do you have more questions?  About adoption in general or our specific journey?  I'd love to answer them.  Email me at amybmoss (at) gmail (dot) com.